Behind The Naugahyde

Just a little something dorky to tickle the laugh-buds

2009-02-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

CREATIVE PUNS - I'm sure you've seen these tossed about the internet.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8 . Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9 . Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

What happened to BehindTheNaugahyde.com?

2008-09-25T13:23:00.001-07:00

Good question! We've converted to the free blogging world - we're starving artists after all. BehindTheNaugahyde.com is now BehindTheNaugahyde.blogspot.com - no biggie, we're still the same fabulous gals rockin' out the same awesome book. We've brought bits and pieces from our old website over to keep the positive mojo going.

Old Guestbook Entries

2008-01-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

Guestbook for behindthenaugahyde.com

Name:	Sharon
Email:	farmer_girl30{at}hotmail.com
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:	Okemos
Comments:	Looks like it is going to be top seller! Shouting out some love for Ashley :).
	June 19, 2007 17:57:35 (GMT Time)

Name:	cherice
Email:	chericem{at}msu.edu
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:	Michigan
Comments:	Jenni, Didn't realize you were involved in SO many things. This looks like a lot of fun! Ran across your "strategies collection" in German and English. It'll be useful to my German students. Thanks! Cherice
	May 12, 2007 15:57:46 (GMT Time)

Name:	Special K
Email:	spenc170{at}msu.edu
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:	Around here
Comments:	I was totally there for that first excerpt w/ Ashley!!! About the mom and daughter and their shop lifting sone!! And it was funnny! I like the site girls and the book sounds realllly good. See ya later gator!
	December 15, 2006 18:18:36 (GMT Time)

Name:	Shorty
Email:	shorty274{at}gmail.com
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:
Comments:	Wool! Lambonator, we've missed you! What did you do with your tight white tee? It better be framed or currently in use. That's all I have to say. We read your letter, and it totally had everyone going! You're pretty much that dominant. Shorty, over and out.
	October 5, 2006 19:57:17 (GMT Time)

Name:	sandy cooley
Email:	bscool2{at}ejourney.com
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:	barryton mi.
Comments:	loved reading your notes you are doing a great job and one day will go far in life ashley sandy
	September 25, 2006 20:21:12 (GMT Time)

Name:	Rob Cooley
Email:	Bubby2676{at}sbc.netyahoo.com
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:
Comments:	I really have enjoyed what of read so fare. looking fowsrd to getting more samples of the novel.
	September 23, 2006 19:21:29 (GMT Time)

Name:	Erin
Email:	twinschick1{at}hotmail.com
HomePage:	http://twinschick1.livejournal.com
Where are you from:	Lansing, MI
Comments:	Love the website and I can't wait to read this! BTW, I gave you a plug over on my LJ. :-)
	September 15, 2006 22:48:23 (GMT Time)

Name:	Harold
Email:	databoyecho{at}aol.com
HomePage:	http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com
Where are you from:	Nanticoke, PA
Comments:	Cool site! I cant wait to read the book!
	September 15, 2006 20:52:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	Seth Arnott
Email:	detlionfan{at}hotmail.com
HomePage:	http://
Where are you from:	Nashville TN and East Lansing MI
Comments:	Great Site!!! I cant wait for more...
	September 14, 2006 02:55:53 (GMT Time)

2007-09-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

We appreciate the continued support of early fans! :)

What's this all about?

2007-06-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

About the book

Behind the Naugahyde is the hottest book that hasn't been published. Hilarious yet intelligent, Behind the Naugahyde has something in it for everyone - from the lowly workers, to the boss, or even the independently wealthy - this has it all. Get the insider's view without doing any of the work!

Jenni Lamb and Ashley Shaffier are the authors of Behind the Naugahyde and BehindTheNaugahyde.com. When they aren't going "Office Space" on broken vacuums, they enjoy shoe shopping, laughing at dorky puns, and of course, writing. Both Jenni and Ashley are freelance writers with a variety of publications.

About Ashley

Ashley Shaffier currently works as the manager of an independent shoe store in Okemos, MI. She is a student at Lansing Community College and attends just for the joy of learning! She has worked in customer service for seven years as a waitress, bartender and sales associate. While her credentials are not nearly as impressive as Jenni's, Ashley greatly enjoys her life of Bohemia and she would quit her job to pursue writing full-time if she didn't have to feed her wonderful dog, Kreeg.

In addition to co-authoring her first novel, Ashley is also working on her first comic book series. She has had short stories published in the September 2006 issue of Writer's Post Journal and in the May 2005 and November 2005 issues of the e-zine, Pandora's Gate. Ashley received second place in the 2005 short fiction category of the LCC L.A.N.D. writing competition. She also writes a blog that shares her tales of writing.

When Ashley is not writing she enjoys comic books, novels and movies. Her hobbies also include learning to play the guitar, dancing, painting and lots of other fun stuff.

About Jenni

Jenni Lamb teaches ninth grade English and tenth grade American Literature in Livonia, MI. A graduate of Michigan State University with a BA in English and a BA in German, she is also certified to teach English as a Second Language. She has worked as a substitute teacher in more than one school district, a resident assistant in the MSU Department of Residence Life, as the assistant manager of an independent shoe store, and as a fitting room attendant at JCPenney.

In addition to regularly blogging, Jenni has written as a content producer for Associated Content. Her poetry has been published in the International Library of Poetry's Touching the Sky, and she placed second in the 2002 OneBook, OneCommunity essay contest. In 2001, Jenni received an Award of Excellence for Feature Writing and two Honorable Mentions in the Poetry and Essay categoriesin the Detroit Free Press Writing Awards. In 2005, Jenni wrote her senior honors thesis, "The Power and Apprehension of Narration; an Experimental Thesis on Experimental Literature," exploring the role of gender in experimental writing.

Besides writing, Jenni's hobbies include photography, concerts, and gardening. She is an avid reader and was a finalist in the 2006 MSU Libraries Book Collection Competition. Jenni is a vegan and enjoys spending time with her family and her three cats. She also loves to write Ashley ridiculously long emails, because Ashley kicks thirty-seven different kinds of booty.

2007-05-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

What's New!

We have sent out copies of chapters 1 through 5 to a small focus group for review. We're eagerly awaiting their responses!

Behind the Naugahyde (formerly Shoe Crew) has received query responses from Writers House, Inc. and Liza Dawson Associates, but has not been accepted yet for publication.

We've added Nauga Notes to our website! Check out the page for a glimpse at the Sole Comfort customer insanity and other odd experiences. The sales associates spare no details in the ongoing collection of Nauga Notes.

Behind the Naugahyde has its own website! Check back often for updates and watch the progress of this underground novel coming to life.

A Nauga Note From Behind Bars?

2007-03-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

Click your Nauga Note to read in full-size! :)

Nauga Note time!

2007-01-25T13:18:00.000-08:00

Give 'er a click to find out the latest adventures of the Sole Comfort Crew!

Your special Christmas Nauga Note - the best gift you'll get this year!

2006-12-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

Click the Nauga Note for a special Christmas BTN treat!

Nauga Notes

2006-11-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

We are starting a special bonus on our BTN site - Nauga Notes! Excerpts from the Sole Comfort in-store employee notebook!

Every nasty customer. Every crazy comment. Every ridiculous rule. We noted it all... behind the naugahyde.

(Click on the note to read the dirt!)

Dear Publishers, Literary Agents, and Fans;

2006-09-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Behind the Naugahyde embodies a story of the shenanigans, escapades, and life’s little absurdities in the retail world of an independent shoe store. Told through emails, blog posts, artifactual evidence, letters, shift reports, and scene fiction, the story moves at the fast pace of competitive footwear retail. Behind the Naugahyde is filled with side-splitting tales of the outlandish games and disastrous consequences of boredom at the workplace and a voyeuristic look into the “secret” correspondence of the head honchos. Readers who enjoyed David Sedaris’ Dress Your Family In Denim and Corduroy and Chuck Palahniuk’s narrative structure in Diary will find themselves enamored with Behind the Naugahyde as well. Edgy and inspiringly honest, Behind the Naugahyde is laugh-out-loud funny in places and over-the-top ridiculous in others, with romance and disaster threaded throughout.

Suddenly the small world of an independent, old-fashioned, special needs shoe store is turned upside-down. Two long-time sales associates, struggling to make it through college, are finally promoted to assistant managers and must negotiate the store’s politics. Donna and Jackie squeeze shoes onto the melon feet of picky customers just like always, but discover it isn’t as easy to control sales associates as they lie, scheme, and cheat customers in torrential drama. Trouble hits when Donna falls in love with the worst of the sales associates just as Jackie is pushing to have him fired. Their boss is equal parts clueless and prophetic, but all too eager to hand over the most questionable of tasks. The creative duo must manage not only the store, but their friendship, love lives, and dreams all while playing insane shoe games, pulling outrageous pranks, and taking incriminating photos as a gift for the boss.

Not since Clerks has there been such a behind-the-scenes look at the lunacy of the retail world. The idiosyncrasies of human nature are in full force when purchasing shoes and the assistant managers spare no details in their personal correspondence regarding their shifts each day. What a manager is thinking when they make the decisions that could ultimately result in the customer’s favorite line, “I’ll never shop here again,” is no longer a secret. Behind the Naugahyde also shows just how far an employee can push before getting fired and the limits a boss can push before his valued employees walk out the door. What makes Behind the Naugahyde different is the deep honesty of these factors that delight rather than instruct.

Geared toward an audience of those gaining life experience, the novel draws in anyone who has ever had to work a job to make ends meet until their dream job hit. Retail workers, customer service associates, college students, and humor enthusiasts alike will all enjoy the tongue-in-cheek narrative in Behind the Naugahyde, and anyone who has ever shopped for shoes will love this insider’s view.

What started out as a business correspondence soon developed into a hilarious depiction of life at the store. We found ourselves laughing out loud while reading one another’s version of the daily events and couldn’t keep the story to ourselves. As an English major studying to become a schoolteacher and a creative writing major, we put our minds together to complete the fictional Behind the Naugahyde.

The book is currently in rough manuscript form and undergoing editing.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Lamb & Ashley Shaffier